Lying in another bed, with someone else’s sleeping head on my shoulder. Completely lost in thought after the sex. Or attempt at sex. Of course I won’t be staying long, I’m waiting to be legally sober before I drive home.
But as he rolled into me I felt a long forgotten pull inside myself. And I don’t know if that’s missing you, or just missing a connection, or being ready for someone else. But what I really wanted in that moment was to roll into him too. And be held and wanted in that way.
Not from you though, I don’t think, anymore. Nor from him.
I inched out from under him and began dressing. He showed me out, ‘text me when you get home’.
The experience left me a little disconcerted. A little more wary. It asked me a lot of questions. And more still when I saw him again.
I’m still scratching at answers.